아무렇게나 책들이 쌓여 있는 방, 책을 한 권 집어서 나온다, 언제 읽었던 것일까? 나는 내가 그어놓은 밑줄을 따라서 책을 다시, 천천히, 읽기 시작한다, 커피를 타고 음악을 틀어 놓고, Blues, 나는 왜 다음과 같은 문장에 밑줄을 그어 놓았을까?
...... There is, for one, the egocentricity which governs the infant's relations with the object world. Before the phase of object constancy has been reached, the object, i.e., the mothering person, is not perceived by the child as having an existence of her own; she is perceived only in terms of a role assigned to her within the framework of the child's needs and wishes. Accordingly, whatever happens in or to the object is understood from the aspect of satisfaction or frustration of these wishes. Every preoccupation of the mother, her concerns with other members of the family, with work or outside interests, her depressions, illnesses, absence, even her death, are transformed thereby into experiences of rejection and desertion ......